Fritz: All Fritz/All Fritz.zip/All Fritz/FILES/MISCEOUS/DISKZINE.LZH/BLARNEY.DOC

Text File | 1988-07-31 | 30KB | 717 lines

                           A WEE BIT O' BLARNEY

                                    by
                                Frank Laney


       "Personal  log.   For  those of you who don't know me, I'm Commander
General T'Kay Tara T'rellall of the  Romulan  Space  Force.   I'm  named  -
aptly,  too - for a legendary Vulcan trickster.  My family has been a thorn
in the side of the Praetor, who sent me to the neutral zone.  He would love
to see my atoms scattered across the universe."

     The  intercom  beeped.   "Commander  to  the  bridge,  we've  received
communications from base."

     "Personal log end." Leaving her cabin, she made her way to the bridge.

     Upon  her  arrival  on  the  bridge,  her  uncle  S'Talon,  the Senior
Centurian, handed her the message, scowling with repressed anger.  She read
the communication:

     Message begins--------
     From: Praetor S'Ailon
     To:  Commander  T'Kay,  commanding  the   Imperial
     Starship Shillelagh
     Commander:
          It   has  come  to  our  attention  that  the
     Federation   has   deployed   one   of   its   new
     Dreadnoughts  along  the neutral zone.  We command
     you to engage the Star  Empire  to  determine  its
     power, its weapons and strengths  and  weaknesses.
     We  honor you in this great endeavor.  Your family
     will gain great prestige and veneration.
          Warmest regards,
          S'Ailon
     --------Message ends

     She looked up from the printout to her uncle, and  said,  "Now  I  see
why you are angry."

     He replied, "He wants to kill us.  What are you going to do about it?"

     With  an  absolutely  fiendish  smile,  she  said, "Dear uncle, take a
message."

     Looking suspicious, S'Talon picked up a message pad, and  prepared  to
take the message.

     "Message begins.  To: Praetor S'Ailon From: Commander T'Kay commanding
Imperial  Starship Shillelagh.  My dear Praetor, I so regret to inform you,
as I am the name head of my clan, I do invoke the Great Covenant.  I do now
say Tal Dae.  And I do invoke it against the  Federation.   As  this  is  a
Family Ship, I do so hate to tell you this, but you can no longer order the
Shillelagh to duty. Sincerely yours, T'Kay.  P.S. Good try.  Message ends."

     Shaken,  S'Talon  said, "Are you sure you want to take this path? When
you invoke Tal Dae it is irrevokable.  You will be as free and  independant
as  can  be, but...you can no longer call for help, or obtain supplies from
the Imperium."

     T'Kay, with a ferret grin, replied, "I thought well on  this  message.
I knew one day it would have to come.  He can do nothing to this ship as it
is  all  family.   He cannot put his spies on board.  I have blocked him in
the Senate and this has made him very hateful.  So now, he seeks to destroy
me.  This is our only chance.   I  suspect  we  will  receive  a  very  hot
subspace communication from my 'beloved Praetor'.

     "Tell First Officer Scanlon what is happening.  Carry on, S'Talon."

                                 * * * * *

     In  a  deserted  corridor,  a  hurried young officer approached T'Kay.
"Kay, have you gone mad?"

     "Scan, you've talked to Uncle Tal," TKay said sweetly.

     Her brother replied, "Yes.  I cannot believe you've done this."

     "Then you know I have no choice.   It's  this,  or  go  up  against  a
Federation Dreadnought."

     In  distress,  he  asked, "But how are we to maintain the ship, obtain
supplies, everything? We  need  the  Imperium's  Supplies  and  Maintenance
facilities."

     "But  what  if  we pay for our supplies? I've declared Tal Dae against
the Federation.  You know what that means, don't you?"

     "It sounds as though you're going to commit suicide.  There's  no  way
we could win a feud against the Federation."

     With  a typical grin on her face, T'Kay replied, "Who says we're going
to fight the Federation? What I intend to do is help myself, and generously
I might add, to anything that's not nailed down."

     A slow smile crept across Scanlon's face.  "Perhaps, perhaps."

     The com-system broadcast  its  message.   "Commander  to  the  bridge,
receiving a subspace call.  Commander to the bridge."

     T'Kay  hit  the intercom button, "T'Kay; I'm on my way." She turned to
her brother, "My reply from the Praetor has arrived.  Want to tag along?"

     Arriving upon the bridge, S'Talon, with a hint of glee,  informed  her
that the Praetor wished to speak with her via the subspace link.

     "Screen on."

     The   screen  lit  up,  showing  the  hopeful  face  of  the  Praetor.
"Commander, you've shown great courage and honor invoking Tal Dae upon  the
Federation."

     A  look of great pity crossed T'Kay's face.  Levelly, she replied, "Of
course, my Praetor, I shall diligently strive to deprive the Federation  of
its property."

     First,  a  look  of  dismay,  followed  closely  by one of great anger
crossed the face of the Praetor.  Abruptly, the screen went blank.

     T'Kay turned to her uncle and  brother,  saying  with  a  heavy  Irish
brogue, "Sure and begorrah, 'twas such a lovely shade of emerald green that
he turned."

     The  Senior  Centurian,  with  a  rueful grimace said, "You were badly
polluted by your godfather Patrick, weren't you?"

     She replied with a wicked grin, "In more ways than you think."

                                 * * * * *

          Captain's  Log:  Stardate 4509.9 Patroling Neutral
          Zone; all appears to be quiet, but coded  subspace
          tranmissions  have  increased  over  the  past two
          hours. Our long  range  sensors  have  detected  a
          Romulan  ship  along  the  border of the Zone.  An
          hour  ago,  its  communications  stopped  and   it
          withdrew out of sensor range.


     Fighting  back  an  extremely bored yawn, Captain Kirk flipped the log
button off.  "Mister Spock, is there anything new on the sensors?"

     "No, Captain.  This is a quite unremarkable section of  space,"  Spock
replied.

                                 * * * * *

     "Are  the phasers properly charged?", Commander T'Kay asked.  "And are
the fire control computers programmed for the operation, Uncle?"

     "Yes.  But are you sure you really want to do this, 'Kay?"

     "This is going to be so  much  fun.   Besides,  I  have  an  excellent
tactical reason," she replied with an evil grin.

                                 * * * * *

     Spock  suddenly  looked  up  from  his  science  station's sensors and
declared, "Captain! There is a Romulan War Eagle decloaking astern!"

     "Shields on full, Mr. Sulu!" the Captain ordered.

     "Too late, Captain.  They're firing their phasers," Spock announced.

     To the surprise of the whole bridge crew, all they  felt  was  a  very
faint vibration through the deck, instead of the expected blast.

     "Damage report, Mr. Spock!" Kirk shouted.

     "The sensors detect no apparent damage, Captain," the Vulcan answered.
"Fascinating," he mumbled to himself with raised eyebrow.

     Captain Kirk asked, "Where's the Romulan, Spock?"

     "Still  to  our  stern,  Captain.   It  appears to have broken off ...
HIGHLY FASCINATING!" Both eyebrows attempted to meet his hairline.

     "What is so facinating, Mr.  Spock?" Kirk asked exasperatedly.

     "Perhaps this is, Captain," Sulu interrupted, putting a  new  view  on
the main viewscreen.

     There,  in full view, where a Romulan bird of prey would be painted on
the hull, was an emerald green shamrock.

     "WHAT THE BLUE BLAZES OF HELL IS THAT?" Kirk quietly screamed.

     "It appears to be a shamrock, Captain," Spock pointed out needlessly.

                                 * * * * *

     T'Kay turned to her First  Officer.   "Are  the  decoys  ready  to  be
launched?"

     "The  decoys  are  all  programmed  and  ready  to be launched, sister
darlin'," he replied with a grin.

     "Then launch them, now," she ordered with a grin of her own.

                                 * * * * *

     "The Romulan vessel has recloaked, Captain," Spock reported.

     "Bring us around 180 degrees and charge the phasers, Mr.  Sulu,"  Kirk
ordered.  "Mr. Spock, locate that ship for us."

     "There  appears to be five different locations, and headings, Captain.
One is heading for the neutral zone. Another is moving directly  away  from
us.   One  is bound for the Klingon border.  Another is directly astern and
closing, and the last is headed into Federation territory."

     "Damn."

     "Captain, Mr.  Scott wishes  to  speak  with  you."  Uhura  announced.
"Shall I put him on?"

     "Yes."  Kirk  replied.   Uhura  pushed  a button.  "Scotty, what's the
damage?"

     "That black-hearted brigand of a Romulan! That  #$%#%  of  a  #$%#%$'s
mother! She's phasered graffiti onto our hull!" Scotty was livid.

     As Scotty paused for breath, Kirk asked, "What does it say, Scotty?"

     "Aye,  Captain, I'll tell ye, all right.  That she-devil wrote `KIRK'S
A JERK, HAVE A NICE DAY, LOVE, T'KAY'."

     Everybody suddenly developed an  intense  interest  in  their  boards.
Kirk was slowly turning purple with fury.

                                 * * * * *

     Scanlon  announced  that  their  course  was  set  for  Earth.  T'Kay,
lounging in her chair remarked casually to her brother, "Sure and begorrah,
Kirk's bound to have turned a lovely shade of purple by now."

                                 * * * * *

     "Commander T'Kay, we're approaching  Sol's  outer  boundry  navigation
markers."

     "Very  good,  Subcenturion.   Cloak  the ship and go into a high earth
orbit." She turned to her uncle, S'Talon.

     "Centurion S'Talon, you have the comm.  I would like my First Officer,
Scanlon to accompany me.  We'll  be  beaming  down  as  soon  as  we're  in
transporter range." They headed for the transporter room.

     Arriving  in  the  transporter  room, T'Kay gave orders that would set
them down just outside the space port in San Francisco.

     The transporter tech did an excellent job, and they  found  themselves
in an alley near a row of spacers' bars. T'Kay and Scanlon went to find the
seediest  looking cantina they could see.  Scanlon was exceedingly nervous.
He was certain that  Federation  Security  was  about  to  pounce  on  them
immediately.

     T'Kay  pulled  him  into  the  bar  of  her  choice,  a  dive  called,
disgustingly enough, 'The Black Hole Cantina'. "You're too tense, you  need
a drink."

     They found a table and a buxom waitress came over.

     "What  would  you  like,  honey?"  she asked Scanlon, totally ignoring
T'Kay.

     T'Kay replied pointedly, in  her  Irish  brogue,  "A  round  of  Irish
whiskey, if you please."

     As  the  waitress  left,  T'Kay  could  see that her brother was still
being very jumpy.  "Relax, and enjoy.  Life is too dull if you  can't  make
it interesting."

     Soon the waitress returned with the whiskey and left them to their own
devices.

     "'Kay,  have  you  lost  your  mind? We're in the middle of Federation
territory, right next door to Star Fleet Headquarters!"

     She sipped her whiskey, and gave him a smile.  "As you know,  we  have
to  be  here  to carry out Tal Dae.  This is the place where the Federation
has its main control center.  I have a virus program to feed  to  the  main
computer.  This should make things very difficult for Star Fleet to control
its ships movements, or even to know where they are."

     "In  the  Name  of  the  Elements,  'Kay," asked her brother, his face
pale, "how are you going to break in to do that?"

     T'Kay's  face  broke  into  her  usual  mischievious  grin.   "Brother
darlin',  you  haven't  forgotten  that  it  was our family scientists that
developed the cloaking device, have you?"

     "Of course not, I know that."

     "What you may not know is that they have improved upon it, so  that  a
person  could  carry  a  small  cloaking  device  and  hide  their presence
completely."

     "You're kidding!" Scanlon exclaimed.

     "On this I am not.  I am wearing what amounts to  a  'cloaking  suit'.
It will hide my presence completely."

     "Wonderful.  So why are we here? In this cantina, I mean."

     T'Kay  leaned conspiritorally toward her brother.  "The easiest source
of intelligence is a gossipy merchant.  They, by the nature of their  jobs,
know where everything is.  We just get a couple skunked."

     So,  all  through  the  night,  they partied.  Even Scanlon got enough
Irish whiskey into him to be able to smile.  When they  left  the  cantina,
they had lots of friends, and the information they needed.

                                 * * * * *

     By  midnight,  they  were  outside  the  Federation  council chambers.
Having removed her merchant's dress, T'Kay was now dressed in a  dark  grey
metallic suit that hugged her every curve, with a bag of tools on her hip.

     "'Kay, what are we doing here?" asked Scanlon.

     "I'm going to have some fun," replied T'Kay, with a little chuckle.

     "Fun?" Scanlon was aghast.  He feared he might faint.

     With  a  tired  smile,  T'Kay  said,  "It  will  also  supply tactical
confusion."

     "Tactical confusion?" He was confused.

     "You'll learn," she told him, patting him on the arm. Then, pulling  a
hood  over  her  head and pressing a button, she disappeared.  All he could
hear were her soft footsteps, as she moved away.

     She went quickly past automated sensors and soon found herself in  the
Federation  Council  chamber.  Her instruments indicated that there were no
sensors in this room, and she dropped the cloak  to  conserve  its  energy.
She went to work.

     Her  godfather, Patrick, had told her about an Earth word that she had
always found so interesting.  Now was her chance to find out.  Graffiti!

     Over the Great Federation Seal, and on every available wall space, she
wrote words and slogans and symbols.  But  for  the  Speakers  Podium,  she
saved  the  best.   Another  uniquely  Irish touch, learned from Patrick, a
limerick:

          There once was a Captain named Kirk
          Whose ship proclaimed him a jerk
          He had a nice day
          With Commander T'Kay
          Who happened to have that kind of quirk.

     T'Kay stepped back to admire her handiwork.  With a lovely smile,  she
faded from view.

     She continued down the corridor toward the Star Fleet Command Computer
Center.   She  was  entering a higher security area, with live guards.  She
needed to be even more cautious now, as people could sometimes  sense  when
something - or someone - was creeping past them.

     She  found  what  she  was  looking for - the Command Program Console.
Carefully, she raised the  front  panel,  and  removed  the  crystal  solid
resting  in  its  socket.  Quickly, she replaced it with a similar one from
her pouch.  This was the virus, with  a  hellish  twist.   The  Star  Fleet
admirals were soon going to be heartily sick of listening to 'I'll Take You
Home Again Kathleen'.  By the thousandth repetition, they would probably be
willing to detonate a photon torpedo in their computer center.

     Besides,  within a short period of time, Star Fleet should not be able
to have its ships at its command.

     T'Kay made her way back quickly to Scanlon, who seemed  to  have  gone
past  nail  biting  and  was  working  on  his  knuckles.   She  faded into
visibility - not by her own doing, but because she had run out of power  to
maintain  the  cloak.  She breathed a sigh of relief, as Scanlon brightened
at the sight of his sister, and began to breathe  again.   She  smiled  her
wickedest,  as  she  thought of what repercussions would be felt due to her
night of fun.

     They transported back on board, and soon they had set their course for
Rigel.

                                 * * * * *

     "Captain," said Uhura, "there is a  priority  call  from  the  Admiral
commanding Star Fleet, personal and private."

     Kirk  raised  his  eyebrows,  but  simply  replied, "All right, Uhura,
transfer it to my quarters." He quickly left the bridge.

                                 * * * * *

     Kirk left his quarters and headed for Sick Bay.  As  soon  as  he  got
there, he sought out McCoy.

     "Bones, I've got a headache, bigger than the fourth day of a three day
pass."

                                 * * * * *

     "Well,  Centurian  S'Talon,  I'm  sure  I  can find something for that
headache of yours," Dr. Tyjson replied.

                                 * * * * *

     "Nurse, get me three cc's of Sauridon," asked McCoy.

                                 * * * * *

     "Centurian, could you tell me why you have such a headache?"

                                 * * * * *

     "Her name is T'Kay," replied Kirk/S'Talon.

     "That I can understand," answered Dr. McCoy/Tyjson.

                                 * * * * *

     "Whoever this T'Kay is, Bones, I'd like to vaporize that ship with the
shamrock, and that woman with it.  Do you know what she has done?"

     "No," replied McCoy.

     "Well, I might as well tell  you,  since  it  will  be  all  over  the
Federation  within  a  week, anyway." Kirk quickly told McCoy about T'Kay's
escapade in the Council Chambers and the Computer Center.

     All McCoy could say was, "Oh, no..."

                                 * * * * *

     After S'Talon told Dr. Tyjson the same story, her reply was  the  same
"Oh, no..."

     She asked, "What are we doing now?"

     "We're going to Rigel."

     "Any particular reason?"

     "I  haven't  found  out  myself.  I wanted to get rid of this headache
first."

                                 * * * * *

     On the bridge, T'Kay was in a  happy  mood.   Her  mood  kept  getting
happier as the reports started coming in.

     They arrived in orbit around Rigel, finding only a Federation frigate,
whose  engines a single phaser blast could disable.  The planetary defenses
could be handled by their cloaking device.  They established, under  cloak,
a low planetary orbit.

     T'Kay  transported,  under her personal cloak, down to the space port,
where her sources told her a small freighter had a special cargo  that  she
wanted.   The  freighter was heavily armored because this cargo was a large
amount of dilithium crystals.

     Her plan was simple.  She would sneak in, and sit on the canisters  of
crystals,  and  have  herself and the crystals beamed aboard her ship.  The
problems came in when the facts were entered into the situation.

     First, the ship was heavily guarded.  Fine, enter at night  under  her
personal cloak.

     Next,  her  ship  would  have  to drop its shields to transport such a
large mass.  All right, be ready to run at the exact moment that everything
was beamed aboard.

     T'Kay entered the freighter under cover of  darkness  and  her  cloak,
overriding  the  ship's control panel.  However, as she did so, she set off
security alarms.  Heading  quickly  for  the  cargo  hold  she  evaded  the
security patrol who were searching the ship for the intruder the alarm told
them was there.

     Entering  the hold, the sensors in her suit located for her before she
actually saw them, the canisters of dilitium crystals.  She climbed on  top
of  them,  and dropped her cloak.  She could hear footsteps in the corridor
just outside the hold.

     "Transporter room, transport now!" she instructed urgently,  into  her
communication link.

     As  the transporter beam started to take hold of her and the canisters
the security patrol thundered in, only to see a  female  on  top  of  their
cargo blow them a kiss as she and it disappeared.

     As  T'Kay  rematerialized  in  the  transporter room, she was laughing
hysterically, but stopped abruptly, as the ship rocked with  a  blast  from
the  planetary defense battery.  But the ship had quickly been shielded and
was heading away from the planet at maximum warp speed.

     When the crew learned of the nature and value  of  their  heist,  they
were  in  extremely high spirits - not only would it pay for their trip and
many more to come - it was the largest haul in the history of  the  Romulan
Space Force.

                                 * * * * *

     "Captain,  a Federation-wide alert has just come through the sub-space
channels," reported Uhura.   "A  Romulan  war  vessel  -  with  a  shamrock
painted  on  its hull - has just robbed a ship in Rigel's spaceport of over
five hundred thousand credits worth of dilithium crystals."

     Kirk grimaced internally, but replied, "Uhura, signal  all  department
heads, I want to meet with them immediately in the briefing room."

                                 * * * * *

     "Gentlemen,"  Captain Kirk said, opening the briefing, "Star Fleet has
ordered the Hood and the Merrimac to rendez-vous with  us  to  help  search
for  the  Romulan ship that has been causing all of the trouble." He turned
to Spock.  "Do you have any other information for us?"

     "Captain,"  Spock  summarized,  "Up  until  now,  what  this   Romulan
Commander T'Kay has been doing, I believe the term is, practical jokes. But
now, since the disabling of Star Fleet's computer and this robbery at Rigel
spaceport, I have little data to go on as to her next move."

     "I'd  like  to show her a thing or two about phasers," grumbled Scott,
"Aye, and what they could do to her ship."

     Kirk, much as he agreed with Scott, chose  to  ingore  him  just  now.
"Spock, have you any, any idea what her next target may be?"

     "Captain, I believe that I have narrowed possible planets to ten.  The
criteria  I  used were low level security with reasonably high value goods.
I hesitate to make a firm prediction as to which one."

     "Spock, we need something to go on."

     "Captain, this is only conjecture, yet I am still cautious to give  it
as a possible for her next target."

     "Spock, anything.  A name, anything."

     "Very well, Captain.  I believe Janus VI might be a possibility."

     Kirk  thought  it  over  a  moment.  "Is that where we encountered the
Horta?"

     "Correct Captain.  But it is  also  where  precious  metals  and  rare
earths  are  mined.   Also,"  Spock  pointed out, "the last readings on her
heading indicated she was heading for that sector of space."

     "Are there any other possible targets?" Kirk wanted to know.

     "Narvare III.  There is a large amount  of  flame  spice  there.   She
might be interested in that."

     "No,  Spock,"  Kirk  said  slowly,  "I believe I agree with your first
suggestion.  She is after high value items that will pay highly on her  own
home worlds."

     Kirk  called  to  the  bridge  instructions setting them on course for
Janus VI.

                                 * * * * *

     Arriving at Janus VI, T'Kay took a small raiding party down  into  the
mining  caverns,  stunning  anyone who got in their way.  In this way, they
soon secured the most valuable of the mine's products.  However, a  message
was  broadcast,  a  call  for  help, that was heard by a certain Federation
Starship.

                                 * * * * *

     Kirk, upon hearing the call from Janus VI, instructed Sulu to increase
speed to Warp 8.  Scott, entering the bridge at  that  moment,  nearly  had
hysterics.

     "Captain, are ye trying to ruin me engines now?"

     "Mr.   Scott,"  asked  Kirk with a big grin, "would you like to meet a
Romulan war ship with a shamrock painted on its hull?"

     "Aye, Captain," he replied enthusiastically, "do  ye  know  where  she
is?"

     "Aye, Scotty, that I do."

     "In that case, Captain, ye can do Warp 9 if ye need to."

                                 * * * * *

     As  the  last  of  the canisters of goods were being beamed aboard the
Shillalagh, an emergency call went out over all communicators.

     "Emergency recall, emergency recall.  All personnel prepare to beam up
immediately!"

     T'Kay rushed to the bridge, only to see what she had hoped not to  see
on her viewscreen.  A Federation starship, bearing down on them, hard.

     "S'Talon, get the planet between us and them, now!"

     They  made  course  corrections  and  manuevers,  but  not  before the
starship started firing photon torpedoes at  them.   The  backlash  from  a
couple  of  near  misses caused a little damage, and tossed the crew around
some.

     "Looks like they're trying  to  start  a  donnybrook,  now,"  remarked
T'Kay in her heavy Irish brogue.

     Just  as  soon  as  the  planet  masked  them  from  the  view  of the
Enterprise, she cloaked the ship.  Knowing that she needed to do more,  she
gave orders to proceed at high warp speed away from the planet.

     Scanlon   opened   his  mouth  to  protest.   Their  fuel  supply  was
desperately short, and being consumed rapidly by the cloaking device.   The
high  warp  speed would only make things worse.  He considered their plight
and closed his mouth with no comment made.  T'Kay nodded  her  approval  at
him.

                                 * * * * *

     "I  shouldna  let  ye  run  me  engines at warp nine, Captain, they're
hurtin' bad."

     "But, Scotty," Kirk started, "we do have a certain Romulan ship..."

     "Captain," Uhura interrupted, "I'm picking up a distress call."

     Kirk smiled wolfishly.  "From a Romulan ship?"

     "No, Captain," replied Uhura perplexedly, "it's Federation code."

     "Where from?"

     "Just ahead of us."

     "Get what information you can, quickly."

     "Yes sir," Uhura turned back to her board.

                                 * * * * *

     A flare lit up the viewsceen on the Shillelagh.  "What was that?"

     "Commander, we're picking up  a  distress  signal  from  a  Federation
ship,"  reported  the  communications  officer. "It's apparantly a merchant
vessel.

     T'Kay felt a glimmer of hope.  She gave several odd-seeming orders.

                                 * * * * *

     "...  crew and passengers number approximately  five  hundred,"  Spock
reported.

     "Damn!"  Kirk  swore  softly.  Their sensors had picked up a number of
unpowered lifeboats.  Several were heading into  a  high  density  asteroid
belt,  and another five were heading toward the system's sun.  There was no
way that they could rescue both groups of lifeboats.  They headed  for  the
asteroid field.

     Suddenly,  the  Romulan  ship dropped its cloak, and veered toward the
lifeboats heading into the sun.

     "Mr. Spock! Are they going to fire  on  those  lifeboats?  Don't  they
have any honor?"

     "Negative,  Captain," replied Spock as he checked his scanners.  "They
have dropped their forward  shields,  and  are  ...  beaming  the  lifeboat
passengers on board their ship."

     Before  Kirk  could  reply  to  this,  Uhura  turned to him. "Captain,
Commander T'Kay wishes to speak with you."

     "Put her on, main viewscreen."

     As the view changed from the starfield to  the  cramped  bridge  of  a
Romulan war vessel, Kirk braced himself for T'Kay's first words.

     "Ah,  Captain,  darlin',  we  finally  meet."  T'Kay regarded him with
amusement. "You see, I've not been terribly good lately, and so now I  felt
it  was  time  to  do  a  good deed.  I have just rescued a large number of
people from certain death in that sun.  They are now safely aboard my ship.
You do understand that as soon as we reach the Neutral Zone, they  will  be
dropped off at the border station."

     Kirk  could  see  that  he wasn't going to be able to do as he wanted,
that he'd lost this battle.  He cringed inwardly at her next words.

     "We'll be seeing you, Captain darlin'.  Have a nice day." She  blew  a
kiss at him, just as the connection was cut from the other end.

     By  the  time  that the Hood and Merrimac had arrived to transport the
rescued passengers, T'Kay and the Shillelagh were long gone, and Kirk vowed
that one day he would do something about her.

                                 * * * * *

     It was a jubilant crew indeed that crossed into  Romulan  space  after
dropping the Federation citizens at an outpost station.

     Even  S'Talon,  who seemed perpetually sour, was grinning like a shark
that had swallowed a whale.  He had estimated the value of  their  haul  at
over  two  billion  golden  standards  -  enough  to overhaul the ship, add
Klingon gunnery circuits, and still have a great deal of money left. Enough
to scare even a Praetor.

     T'Kay was looking forward to  the  welcome  that  she  knew  would  be
awaiting her.  She was not disappointed.

     In  front of the Imperial Senate of the Romulan Worlds, she received a
hero's welcome, by the very Praetor who had attempted to send  her  to  her
death.  She  chuckled to herself as he smiled - a smile that made one think
that he had just been chewing on a dozen limes.

     And she had only begun to have fun.

                               * * * * * * *